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In my teens, I discovered Architectural Digest and started drafting house plans. To say that I have designer pet peeves would be an understatement. I follow the real estate market religiously and notice when homes sit on the market forever. There is always reason. Buyers see certain home features as a negative. If they cannot figure out how to fix that negative for a reasonable amount of money and time, that house is going to sit.
People want to buy a home, not a project. The reality is that it takes much more than an hour-long television show to renovate a house. Buyers want to move in and be done. Today we are going to talk about why that house won’t sell.
Three-sided fireplaces are dated and unattractive. This once-cool answer to “no place to put the fireplace” is now an awkward nod to the 90s-era tract homes. What’s worse is that the fireplace is supposed to be a focal point in a room. So when it is stuck somewhere weird, it throws the whole room off.
What is the fix for this situation? Update the fireplace with new finishes. The new three-sided fireplaces are surrounded by natural stone and seamless glass for a sleek designer look. Turn that fireplace into a feature of the room instead of an eyesore.
Holy mother of wallpaper! On the list of things I never want to do again is stripping wallpaper. I’m not alone. If you're selling a house, ditch that wallpaper. Buyers see old wallpaper as a horrific chore to take down—because it is. Your home needs to be either a showplace or blank slate to attract buyers. Also featured in this room is the oh-so-90’s light bar. Are we in Hollywood?
The fix on this one is obvious. Strip that wallpaper and paint that room a neutral color.
I have seen nice tile counters, but if your home is priced over $300,000, it shouldn’t have them. Tile counters are for low-median-priced homes. No one buying in the $800,000 range is going to get excited about white, 4 x 4 kitchen counters.
This house was almost a million dollars with a tile counter. I would say something about the white appliances, but there are people who prefer white.
The fix is obvious. Replace the counters with granite.
Glass brick has a place in design. That place is Florida or a 1950s diner. Otherwise, glass brick looks . off. I’m not going to lie, I hate glass brick. On an Art Deco building, it’s right at home. Everywhere else, glass brick looks weird.
The sad part is that some home builders are still using glass brick in new designs. There are buyers who like glass brick. Those buyers are not the majority. People do not know how to decorate around glass brick. It creates a bad dynamic for design.
The cheapest fix is to remove it and complete the wall. In the case of this shower, I would do a clean tile half wall.
Speaking of bad tile decisions, was there a going out of business sale at the tile store? This shower design is kind of cool, but the entire thing needs updating—or at least to have the color tiles replaced with the same white tile.
The second picture is a hot mess. Here the creatively challenged have grouted in what looks to be rocks, and the floor doesn't even match itself.
The fix for this: all-new flooring, strip the vanity, and repaint it white. Get a new vanity top that does not wrap around the toilet and clean up the tub. I would probably frame the mirror with molding as well.
That, my friends, is the notorious carpet in the bathroom. That carpet has that lovely smell of mildew mixed with who knows what. Due to its smaller square footage, flooring a bathroom is not expensive. Replace that carpet.
Your buyers don't want to touch that carpet. They don't want to know what went on in that bathroom. Bathrooms should appear sparkly clean.
The original home that inspired this paragraph is in Lake Havasu City, Arizona. I couldn't copy the pictures due to a copyright issue. Gothic arches were a thing in the 60s and 70s. Most people pulled them out and squared off the entries, but not the people who own this Havasu home. The Golden Arches of McDonald's in brick are not a good selling feature. There are good arches and bad arches. The arches in that home are look weird. Square it off. The 60s brick look isn’t coming back.
The picture below is of another bad arch situation. Rip it out. Create a blank wall. Or turn those arches into a bookcase (after you remove the mirror tile).
Right in the center of this room is a Benihana fire place. If you like roasting marshmallows, then this house is for you! But weirdly placed fireplaces are difficult to pass in resale. If your fireplace requires someone to have custom-made furniture, then you can bet buyers are going to pass.
The fix is to remove it or move it. Neither option is going to be cheap.
“The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.” — Maya Angelou
You saw it here first! Someone took the floor/accent tile rocks and did the entire shower in rock. This is why people need a design consultant. I love rock, but this rock is too small and too busy for an entire shower. As your shower floor or in a band around the middle, yes. But having the whole shower in pebbles looks like you are moving into the hobbit house. Don't even get me started on cleaning this mess, because you can't keep that clean.
How to fix it? Take it out and put in a neutral tile. You can save money by keeping the floor pebbles.
I owe you two apologies for the following picture. I’m sorry you can’t unsee this picture, and I'm sorry it's such poor quality.
This bathroom is a nod to Art Deco for sure (although I’ve never seen evergreen tiles used in Art Deco). Consider this same space with a granite counter and updated tile. It would be amazing.
Don't limit your market with features that don't make sense. Nothing else in the house was Art Deco.
I know what you are thinking: what could she possibly have a problem with in this photo? I’m completely against the 12-foot outcropping of rock stuck in the middle of a pool. When I showed this picture to my mom, she said it looked like poop stuck in the middle of the pool. You can’t see in this picture, but they used 1-inch white tiles in the back of that grotto. Nothing says “nature” like 1-inch white tiles. It's just such a strange instinct.
If you are going to build a pool, pick a style. In nature, the rock outcropping would never be dead center, and in my opinion it isn’t adding anything to the pool. If you go with the natural setting, do the rocks all the way around with small walk-in areas and plants. Yep, I’m a pool snob.
Styles come and go. You could spend your entire life remodeling your home to fit the market. If you are going to remodel to sell, stay neutral with your color selections. You might like an over-the-top blue tile, but that tile is going to age. Keep it neutral, and then add decorator touches with your paint colors.
Humans are fickle creatures. This year's must-have color is next year's has-been. Look at your space and see the opportunities to get top dollar with small updates. Your realtor will thank you.
© 2018 MD Jackson MSIOP
MD Jackson MSIOP (author) from Western United States on August 30, 2018:
I know what you mean about the clutter. I was viewing a million dollar home and the bathroom looked like a group of teen age girls had been in there getting ready. You would think the realtor would have had them pick it up before they took pictures.
Liz Westwood from UK on August 30, 2018:
This is an interesting article. I can relate to many of the points you make. Another would be for me over-cluttering. I prefer a minimalist approach.
Pamela Oglesby from Sunny Florida on August 29, 2018:
I watch HGTV and see all the problems that can occur in a house hendering a good sale. I was recently surprised to see some designers putting wallpaper up agin, but usually only on 1 wall. I was so glad when we got rid of our wallpeper, and If I never take wallpaper down again it would be too soon. (Excuse the very old saying).
I enjoyed your article as it addressed so many home issues.